Bill Bryson

Years ago I bought a book for my older brother, “A Short History of Nearly Everything”. I’d never heard about Bill Bryson but I thought it sounded interesting and it would appeal to Brian. It was only recently that I finally started to his novels. I’ve been so focused on travel books I’ve neglected novel reading, besides, my mother picked up one of Paul’s books while she was visiting and it seemed to give her a few good chuckles. Bill Bryson quickly became one of my favourite reads and I looked forward to indulging in snippets of “Notes from a Big Country” every night before going to sleep.

Last night I dug out “A Walk in the Woods” and Bill (I feel that close to him) has shot to my favourite author by about a million miles. This novel is about his trip to the Appalachian Trail in USA.

He describes his experience of buying gear and the problem with all these techie bits that cost the earth and, to be quite honest, you hadn’t thought of having nor did you entertain the idea of doing what you could be doing if you did have them. But anyway, you buy all the bits all the same and then wonder about weight and how you will possibly fit it all into your bags – and seriously if you will ever use them at all. I was thinking “Yip, I know that feeling.”

Bill put his tent up in his house, blew up his inflatable mat and climbed into his sleeping bag. He lay there thinking how comfy it was, and later realised how mistaken he was. I did that too! Then he mentions how he loved his head torch and I though “Oh my god. I so agree!” He wrote about the books he read in preparation, in particular one about bears. I have a completely irrational fear of bears so as I read, I made mental note to never go anywhere near North America. He mentions reading with eyes as big as saucers and I though “Yes! MY eyes are as big as saucers”.

It was at this point, that I felt as if Bill Bryson and I were some how sharing this wonderful experience of preparing for the adventure of a life time, when he wrote the funniest lines I have ever read in my whole life. I laughed so hard I cried.

It's in chapter 2, about a photo in the book of four bears trying to get a food sack out of a tree that some happy camper had just fearlessly snapped.

“What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp?

Why, I would die, of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. I would blow my sphincter out of my backside like one of those unrolling paper streamers you get at children’s parties – I dare say it would even give a merry toot – and bleed to a messy death in my sleeping bag.”

I tell you what. That is precisely what I will be doing if I have lions prowl around my flimsy non-rip tent at night out in Africa. I have thought about this many nights staring at the ceiling in the darkness of my room after having watch “Africat” on TV.

Anyway. I have to go now as it’s getting late and I have to jump into the shower and into jammies so I can read chapter 3 before bed.

Practice and More Practice

My mother always used to tell me that practice makes perfect. I’ve ignored most of the useful advice she has given me but when it comes to preparing for this trip, I must admit that I’m trying to practice all things when ever possible.

So far, I’ve done quite a few miles on my bike, 15,783 miles, to be precise. We’ve been camping out in all kinds of weather. Packed as much gear as we could into the panniers. Realised we don’t actually have to fill them. Some bits of gear are SO brilliant, for instance, the head torch – I can no longer live without. A small mysterious item is a silk sheet liner for our sleeping bags that keeps me warm and Paul cool and will probably spare our marriage on the trip. Some bits I’m still not sure about, for instance, our walkie-talkies and that ga’dam GPS. I’m and old fashioned girl with a degree in geography. Besides my experience leads me to believe that getting lost is often the way to find unexpected things – most of which are great. Paul thinks I lead a charmed existence and he isn’t taking the same chances. And there are other bits that I think will either prove to be wonderful or a complete waste of space, for instance, a green cooler box and a bush shower. In theory they are our luxury items.

I have been practicing photography with this little dinky digital camera that is kind of small and awkward to use. I’m pants. But that does not mean I’m not going to share my lousy photography with you. It does digital clips too so just be thankful I can’t upload them!

Metal Mule

Well, I think that finally our bikes are ready to go! Just a shame we aren’t!

I’m delighted with our Metal Mule luggage. It’s really solid, well designed and you can fit them yourselves. The frames needed a bit of encouragement but its quite straightforward. Plus Paul Golding and his wife are really helpful and have done the Africa trip themselves – so have designed boxes that are spot on for the job. The whole set up is not cheap but cheaper than some other options around. We have strapped 5 litre petrol containers on the front. And cut up a gym mat to make soft seats. Stuck on reflective strips… Viola.

For information please check out their website www.metalmule.com. (And PS if you use this link you can't "back" to the blog - so right click and open in a new window... unless you want to go and not come back... Whatever)

Dennis and Geoff

So I got an email from Geoff of "Catch the Pig" saying he'd met my friend Dennis who was biking about the Pyranees. I then got an email from Dennis saying he'd met Geoff and Ian...

Here is Dennis' email... It is really UN-believable!

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It's an amazingly small world out there!! I pulled into a campsite at Ax-les-Themes in the Pyranees for the Tour de France and noticed 2 KTM's being worked on by a couple of guys. The number plates suggested they were Brits so I went to talk to them. One said he was from England and the other from South Africa. So I just said "Oh do you know Sandi Langton then", like you do. Amazingly he said "Yes." but I thought he was joking!! Anyway it seems they both know you so I wrote down their names on a piece of paper that I can no longer find. I think is was Geoff and Ian and I think Geoff had a handle something like ridethewind but I may be wrong on that.

I'm sure you will know who I am talking about and can correct my errors. Moral - always have a good notebook and pen to hand for when you meet people. I did but it was in my tank bag at the time!
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You boys!! ;o)